My Top Ten of 2012: #6 West Virginia and #5 Greek Life Arc Project Surf Trip

#6 West Virginia and #5 Greek Life Arc Project Surf Trip

These two go together (kind of) and are possibly the two most exciting things of my top ten. I consider myself lucky and blessed and trusted entirely too much to have had these experiences. A little bit before this time last year Hope College’s chaplain asked my friend Jay and I if we would be interested in taking a bunch of Fraternity guys on a mission trip to Florida. It was a mission trip but I feel guilty calling it that because it more so had the feeling of vacation. Every morning we woke up early and headed to Jacksonville where we fixed up a day center kids from local schools hung out at after school and all day during the summer. We painted, shoveled, laid cement, raked, painted some more, moved and constructed with the efficiency of 21 young men. They came up with more work for us to do after we completed everything they wanted us to on the first day. Every afternoon we’d pack up, grab a quick lunch and head to the beach to give surfing our best try. At the end of the week we hosted a day long surf camp for the kids from the day center and then celebrated with them pizza party style in a nearby park.

Then this fall Jay and I got another call, seeing if we’d be interested in taking another group of Greeks to West Virginia on a whitewater rafting trip. Jay and I, being the willing individuals we are, eagerly agreed. It was another amazing trip but quicker this time. We only had four days to drive down, hike for a day, go white water rafting the next day and then drive back.

The trips are amazing. It’s just a bunch of guys from separate Fraternities who don’t really know each other hanging out, eating, hiking, serving, surfing, trying not to die on a river and trying new things together. The whole point of the trips is to create unity and community among these guys. It’s been fun to see it work. It’s easy for the people to critique each other, downplay the good they have to offer and fight, but it’s much harder to create. These trips have created something good among the Greek at Hope. I’m real glad to have been able to be a part of it all.

The trips were a great part of 2012… Now I’m excited as surf trip 2013 is in the works and we’ll be back in Florida in a few short months.

Surf Trip!

Fall Break!

My Top Ten of 2012: #7 Camp Rock

#7 Camp Rock

I met with Todd, the head of Camp Rock, and we talked it through. They had a need and things at the Rescue Mission weren’t moving along as planned. A day after our meeting I agreed to shift my responsibilities and money raised to work at Camp Rock for the summer. The last thing to talk over was which group of kids to work with. Todd gave me the opportunity to have a voice in where I would go.  I pointed out my experience being mainly with high schoolers and some middle school but told him I would go where he needed me. Come to find out they had enough staff to help out with the high schoolers (there were usually only 15 or so who showed up). The middle schoolers were pretty set as were the 3rd-5th graders. I put my best face to prove I was a cool go with the flow type of guy but really I knew what it meant.

Kindergarten-2nd grade.

As a younger twenty year old guy I wouldn’t have described myself as a kid person. I’d never had a little sibling or neighbor or anything. I felt completely incapable. I was nervous. My plans, as they often do, were completely flipped around. The summer was planned to be spent focusing on community development with churches, rehabilitation programs and helping grown men find jobs. Instead I was with toddlers on playgrounds, going on field trips, laying around in the shade of trees on sunny days or sitting next to an old fan watching Madagascar and explaining questions about what the penguins were doing. I was worried they wouldn’t like me or I wouldn’t be fun for them or wouldn’t be able to calm them down when they started crying in big hyperventilating gasps. Without much of a transition case management was traded in for bear hunts in the woods and job training for lifting tiny bodies into the sky like airplanes. Summer turned into time spent with little kids who have weird little lives. They are entirely confused and ask when lunch is about a thousand times a day. Their hands, which they are always insisting you hold on to tightly, are always sweaty, they tell you when they are about to pee their pants and we run to the bathroom. They would rather feel your muscles or be picked up and spun around over and over than have anything else the world has to offer. Someone is always needing a hug or a hand to hold when walking places, they are scared of weird things and need someone to console them when they are afraid. To cup their tiny bodies up in arms and whisper little words in little ears how everything is going to be okay and make them feel protected.

#7 was a change of plans I am very glad for. It was a great way to learn something about myself, and little the little kids I learned I have a heart for, and what I’m capable of. Giving little kids attention and love they need. Learning each and every one is a special little being and is worth treating so.

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My Top Ten of 2012: #8 Colorado

#8 Colorado

It’s hard for me to have Colorado rank all the way down at #8. Previous years in life it has always been a top three or four. This year it sits at 8. Not because Colorado has become any less excellent at all it just speaks volumes to the top 7 I guess. My first visit out to Colorado as a Junior in high school felt like a homecoming as has every visit ever since. The feeling of going back, breathing the thin air, staring up at the giant mountains, snowboarding and tucking away in a small warm room at the end of the day has never changed. The route from Colorado Springs to Denver to Breckenridge  is still second nature to me. Drop me off at any section of the road and I could tell you where I am, how far it is Denver or how long it would take, time to put my boots on included, till we could be standing on the top of peak 8 (given traffic and lift lines weren’t backed up).

Visiting Colorado twice this year was enough… but barely. The first time was fun. It was a rather impromptu visit spurred by a few traded shifts to get off work and an old friend who agreed to drive out with me. We stopped at a bookstore in Chicago, ate bags of trail-mix and granola, drove through the night and listened to all of the music our friends gave us before finally getting to Colorado. We went to Colorado Springs for a day visit with my friends from the Dale House before heading a few hours more northwest. We got to Keystone and I said goodbye to my friend. She went on to Vail for a couple days then California then Oregon and then Nepal I believe. I spent a few days skiing with friends then went back to Denver to celebrate a friends birthday, and took a bus to Colorado Springs for a couple days visit before flying back to Michigan.

I remember the first time visiting and know the feeling I’ll get with every visit back. Colorado is the old friend I feel I’ve had forever, always on my side and good to catch up with like a day hasn’t passed from the last visit. It’s the way the bed you grew up in at home sleeps a little better than any other, this is the way Colorado lives for me. The state understands me well, gives me what I need and what I hope for and the things I need to know in the way I need to know them. It’s odd for a place to speak into a person like this but it does. It’s a blessing to have found Colorado and to be able to visit it as much as I do.

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Making the write move

This past year has been quite a busy one. I think I’ll get into that more later but one thing is for sure. Things have changed. Life moved fast this year. I’m still in Michigan but have spent at least a week in Colorado, Florida, West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Minnesota along with traveling all over in-between.

I’ve been working enough part time jobs as to allow life to be a full time adventure. It keeps me busy. I’m still working at a running company and most recently took on life as a substitute teacher (#subs) which has been so much fun. Young Life has continued to be a blessing to me as I am now an “adult leader” and get some new opportunities of things I can do. We just had our Christmas party at Special Education Ministries which I almost quit but couldn’t bring myself to. I’ll be getting into full swing for planning of the Hope Greek Life Fraternity Mission Trip with Arc Ministries to Florida. Along with spring comes lacrosse season. We still don’t have a head coach and I talked with the athletic director about taking the position. Truth is I don’t feel prepared enough to take it on. So I’m just hoping we get a head coach I get along with well as I stay in the assistant position.

All of this makes me feel like the middle section of a Venn diagram. Truth is I love it. Grabbing so many parts of life together is a lot of fun for me. While it doesn’t come many securities we look for in life it does come with benefits of fun, adventure, relationships and a joy I wouldn’t get otherwise.

In it all I’ve kept writing about my time in Denver with homeless people. I’ve not been stuck on it but I must say it’s been a great experience. It is hard to stay focused on it with everything in life moving by so fast. It’s partially why I haven’t written so much here for a while but I have fallen more and more in love with writing.

Recently I’ve rededicated myself to it. I even transformed my bedroom to be more conducive to writing. I now have a desk and bookshelf taking up most of my room. It makes getting up early before work or staying up a little later at night a little more do-able. Papers, edits, reminders and notes hang all over my walls. I keep pictures of my Dale House kids above my desk to remind me of why I do all I do. Next to the kids a poster of a night time cityscape reminds me of the nights spent in Denver. A few more of my favorite photo’s and quotes stare back at me when I write. It all keeps me motivated which I need. Because I really do believe in what I’m doing and feel it’s important.

Like anyone else I’m figuring things out. It’s funny sometimes how we figure things out. This past summer I officiated two weddings which I thought was a funny thing for a single 24 year old to do but I learned a lot about love. I also learned you don’t need to be an expert on everything to do a good job. Most of the time it just takes effort, optimism and undying dedication. Put yourself in a situation to make it work. Want whatever it is you want bad enough and it will happen. For me it’s been this book. For my friends it’s been marriage, going to Africa or Australia, going back to school or staying and working at the Dale House.

Over everything this past year I’ve seen how we are all writing our story. I’ve seen a couple friends stories come to an end. They were two really lively guys. It’s sad but it reminds me to keep my story going. Live adventurously. As we are the author of our own story we need to remember it’s not always about making the right move as it is just making the write move. Find something you love and go for it. Don’t plan it so much. Risk it. Life will likely be a little more like poetry which sweeps in and out of seasons than a science book’s presentation of what is and isn’t. Be fine not managing everything. Just keep going.

Can’t wait to keep the write moving. Best to you in yours.

Trav

When a cop wakes you up.

“Hey man you can’t stay here, gotta get up and move” A man’s voice told me.

I pulled my blanket off my face and looked up to the guy, he’s kind of a blurred pudgy figure until I put my glasses on and see it’s a cop. When a cop wakes you up you usually do what he says. But by this point I had been woken by cops a few times, sometimes I had been somewhere I shouldn’t be and I respected them, other times I knew I was doing nothing wrong and still respected them but with a little more sas (that’s right… I had some sas as a homeless boy)

“Sorry but why can’t I sleep here?” I asked him

“You just can’t” he responded

“Well actually there is no sign saying I can’t and I’m on private property so it’s perfectly fine that I sleep here. Right” By this point I was a little hardened and tired. “Right? I mean I don’t think I’m wrong and if I am tell me” I ask him again while standing up.

“Well, I mean uh. I just think you need to move on” I think he was surprised I was a young kid. I half expected him to put me in my place with some new ordinance or pointing to a new sign that had been hung up in the night or something.

“I’ll move on so I don’t cause you any trouble. I really hope you have a good day sir” I told him as I rolled up my mat and blanket. I really did hope he had a good day too, and I felt kind of bad for my sarcasm. I had been trying to unconditionally love on loads of people by this point (homeless, business people, cops, druggies, the creepy guy who always tried to buy me shoes, prostitutes etc). And I made a short little small talk with the cop while I packed up the rest of my things and was on my way.

As I walked a way I probably had a little more pep in my step than usual. It was actually the end of my little homeless adventure in Denver. While I told the cop it was fine I slept there I was partly thinking “Well, I’m done being homeless anyways”.

I took one more walk through town, looking people in the eye again for the first time in a while (I had been avoiding stares for a couple weeks because it is hard to know people are looking down on you so much). I wanted to remember the looks, the rejection and compare it to what was to come. About an hour after waking up I was headed to Chris’ house, then taking a shower, putting my car back on insurance, driving to get a hair cut and putting on better clothes. In three hours time I would be stopping back at this place a completely differently looking person. I looked into peoples eyes the same as I had three hours before but this time was stared at so differently. People smiled, genuinely, I was treated nicely. No glares from people sitting at tables in restaurants and no sarcastic remarks from touristy looking people.

Truthfully I didn’t know how to respond to everything at the time, or two days later eating breakfast at a hotel in Chattanooga with a man whose net worth was $50 million dollars (that’s another crazy story), or a week later talking to friends at a wedding, or months later talking to a grad school social work class. And here I am now a year later trying to make sense of it all and still I feel am failing miserably to do it justice.

I know I can say it was the greatest, riskiest, and most meaningful experience of my life. I still think about it every day especially now that I hit the one year anniversary of it all. I promise it’s not all done with. I feel something in me urging to pick it back up again in some sense. I needed a rest, I learned I need to rest sometimes while I was out there, but I know I have rested long enough now.

And in the rest, and effort, I’ve learned so much in the past year. From the road-trip through the south, multiple friends weddings, a bike trip across 5 states, a trip with greek guys down to Florida, officiating 2 weddings, working at a running company, going to young life camp, coaching lacrosse and just trying to be a better friend I can say I failed so many times along the way. And I’ve learned from it. I have learned more deeply that I am part of this world, of my faith, and everything the two have to offer each other. And I’m excited for a year from now to see all the ways I’ll have gotten to try new things, take new risks, and continue in my pursuit to be a friend to the world.

As always, never give less than your best.

Love you all and God Bless.

Final: 785 miles, $3,450 raised for kids to go to Young Life Camp and not a single bear.

It was just over a month ago when I was biking across Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Minnesota. The purpose was to raise money for kids from the Dale House Project and from the greater Holland area to go to Young Life camp. I had never done anything like this before. Most days were well over 100 miles and at night I spent time with families I had never met before. The month before had been full of training and fundraising.

The second day of the trip pretty much summed up what the whole experience was like. The first day had plenty of setbacks and turned out to be 164 miles. The second day consisted of a headwind of 15-18 mhp for most of the 100 miles. Headwinds frustrate me more than hills or heat or rain. A good strong headwind feels like pressing equally on the break and gas pedals in a car. Maximum effort with minimal results. That day my legs hurt, I powered through, I yelled going up hills with the wind blowing strong in my face. I pushed as hard as I could only to see the speed on my computer dropping consistently. I dropped my wallet and had to back track. Finally I started praying for the wind to just ease up a bit.

Every time I finished a prayer the wind seemed to pick up, almost mocking me, and putting more resistance on every pedal. Finally that day I snapped. I was sick of the wind, sick of praying and biked harder than I think I ever had. I’m sure my jaw was clenched as I pushed and pushed as if to defy the wind. To overcome everything.

This is what I mean everything was like. Instead of making life easier by giving me what I wanted it was kind of like God may have just been saying. “Stop it. Stop asking for things to be easy. Stop being a wimp”

I felt that in the last leg of the day tuesday. When God seemed to maybe say “You think you’re in shape, you think you know how to push yourself, you think you know strength in weakness but Travis, you don’t know how I’ve made you. You don’t know how amazingly well I made you. You don’t know really what you can do but I can show you and teach you through testing. Maybe if you stopped asking for it to be so easy all the time you might even see”

After everything shook out and the trip was done I didn’t feel much sense of accomplishment but more so wonder of what I might be able to do. The trip was very hard at times but I know I could have tacked on another 20 or 40 miles onto most days. The trip could have been 1,000 miles and it still would have happened. And after the next trip I’m sure I’ll still have the same sense of curiosity.

But for now I can say it is good. Roughly $3,450 was raised. Around $2,500 will go to the DHP and $1,000 will stay here in holland to send kids to camp.

Thanks everyone for all the support, encouragement, and help. And no James Sa, there was not a single bear fight/attack/sighting/non-confrontational gathering.

Book Review: The Other Wes Moore

“Two kids with the same name living in the same decaying city. One grew up to be a Rhodes Scholar, decorated combat veteran, White House Fellow, and business leader. The other is serving a life sentence in prison for felony murder”

I just finished this book today and it resonates so much with what I have seen and lived in the past two years. The story, as stated above, is about two guys around the same age, both fatherless, from the same hood, with an eery amount of similarities growing up but an ever more profound difference of where they are now.

The whole story ends up begging one question of the ways the two men turned out.

How?

Where is the promise of hope and a future? How did one kid get out, become a hero and a leader while the other fell into the victim of circumstances a detriment to society and a villain? It’s a sad and scary story highlighting many of the troubles of youth in America.

I loved Wes’ accurate and humble portrayal of his own life, mistakes and grace given to him while recognizing the same of his friend and counterpart of the story. In the end there are no real answers but a lot of questions worth thinking about to be applied to ourselves and others. To be honest it’s a book I’ve lost some sleep over but I’m glad because it’s been so important to think about my personal decisions and how I approach life but also how I give grace to others like me. How the murderer’s in jail are like me or you or your friend. It made me appreciate my freedom and grieve others entrapment to a life they never viewed as something long term. It challenges the cocky attitude I have sometimes; being proud of where I am rather than grateful of where I am not. Wes states it well when he says “The chilling truth is that his story could have been mine. The tragedy is that my story could have been his”.

Unlike many books I have read and appreciated (Love Wins, Irresistible Revolution, Crazy Love) this books digs into something more intimate than attempts at answers and walks through the real lives of families and individuals. If you are involved social work, teaching, Young Life, race issues, psychology or want a lesson in empathy I highly recommend this book. It’s also just an all around good true story.

I must say it was one of my favorite reads over the past year. A book I’m sure to revisit.

Check out Wes’ website here for more information.

7 Days. 800 miles. One cause.

One of my favorite things in the world is taking kids to Young Life camp. The first time I went was four years ago at Timberwolf. I’ve gone back there a couple times, to Castaway and Frontier Ranch. Knowing how awesome camp is and the good it can do in kids lives makes we want to go to great extremes to get kids there.

So when I learned a couple months ago The Dale House (where I worked last year) needed some help sending their kids to Young Life camp this year I had to do something. I took the kids last year and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I was able to see the kids that went have so many first experiences, step outside their comfort zone, but most importantly got to see how accepted and loved they felt by getting to go to camp. Most of the kids grow up in abusive and neglectful environments. Watching them go to a camp where they are treated like royalty, get to know so many new friends, and are truly loved for who they are was one of the most amazing representations of how God loves people that I’ve ever seen. I know for a fact it changed those kids lives.

Coming back to Michigan I started being a Young Life leader again and know there is a monetary need here in Holland to send kids to camp as well. When I heard the DHP needed help too I knew I just had to do something. I really wanted every kid who wants to go to camp to be able to go and saw a need.

To give online click here or call 616-392-6555 to make a donation. Thank you so much for joining with me on this. I’ll keep you updated on how the fundraising is going.

Shout out to Social Workers

Today I was lucky enough to go speak to a class full of future social workers at Grand Valley State University about homelessness. I was pretty pumped about the opportunity from the get go. While I get a tiny bit nervous I love public speaking especially when it is something I am passionate about. Seeing my name next to the words “Guest Speaker” was a pretty cool sight… something I could get used to.

I got there a little early and ran through what I was thinking of talking about before going into the classroom. To be honest I stuck to my notes only a little bit before just going on about the experiences of the summer that might have had some relevance to the class. I will not lie I got caught up in a few moments sharing about some of the guys I got to know and passionately stuttered a few times. I tried my best to express the love I think we’re capable of feeling towards people who are the most down and out. I only hope I was able to communicate a little of what I feel.

I talked a while and took more than the allotted time I was given but was graciously given more time before coming to a close and getting to ask if anyone had any questions. I’ve never asked if anyone had any questions after a presentation and had anybody actually have questions so immediately after asking I started saying “and if you don’t have any ques…” when a few hands went up.

It was kinda cool. I saw they actually cared. They were more than just entertained.

One of the last questions I was asked was what my major in College was (FYI it was Athletic Training 3yrs but graduated with psychology) and if I was currently searching higher education (which I am not… at least not in a traditional manner). I felt like a bum (no pun intended… kinda). I realized I was talking to a group of people with a more dedicated and written out plan than I have. They are preparing themselves to care for people and make it their whole entire life. Something I want to do but I guess I want to do in a similar yet different way.

From that comes my shout out to social workers. The ones in the room today. The ones I’ve worked with before. The ones I will work with and the ones I will never know.

Thank you.

Thank you for going to school extra so you can care about people others have not cared about. Thanks for not complaining about it and putting in hard work on a daily basis. Thank you for showing me how to better love kids, adults, orphans, alcoholics, addicts, the abused and the abusers. Thank you for being enthusiastic in the classroom and in the real world. Thank you for being creative and loving and not losing the heart of what you do. Thank you for taking care of your co-workers when work gets tough. Thank you for putting up with the low pay and high stress. Thanks for not giving up and not giving in to what the world says would be smart/safe to do. Thank you for touching the lonely souls and listening to those who haven’t had anyone to talk to. Thank you for humbly walking in and doing some of the most important work I can think of.

I could go on and on but I just wanted to say if you are a social worker I respect, thank, and look up to you.

Keep it up. Remember you are doing amazing things, in practice and in preparation, every day.

How being a Young Life leader helped me be, be with and reach homeless people.

I remember when I became a Young Life leader. It was right at the end of May 2008 when some guys from the Fraternity I just joined encouraged me to check it out. By the end of June I had gone through a fast track of training and in July I went to my first ever Young Life camp. Ever since then I’ve been hooked. I have been to camp 4 times since then. I’ve crossed off Timberwolf, Castaway, Frontier Ranch and Pico Escondido from the list of YL camps to go to. All along the way I was slowly learning something a guy by the name of Tony Dilaura introduced me to way back in 2008 when I was just a young starry eyed 20 year old going through training.

That one thing was to “earn the right to be heard”.

That one thing has become the basis of whatever I do now with my life.

It started in Young Life and continued there throughout my time in college.

After college earning the right to be heard was really put to the test when I worked with and lived with kids at a group home. These were kids that had grown up in abuse, neglect and abandonment. For some turning to drugs, gangs, guns and anger was the answer while for most it was just their life how they had always known it.

These kids were looked down on, outcast, institutionalized and corrected by others who “know better”. People wanted to talk to them so much telling them what to do but it didn’t seem like many times in these kids life people had taken the time or put in the effort to earn the right to be heard. I was thankful to be a part of a group of people at The Dale House where a relational life where earning the right to be heard was emphasized to be a way of life rather than an exception.

Eventually the decision came to take this to where I couldn’t see it going before. To a place where there is no high school lunch room, there is no sporting event and no best week of your life at camp. A place where very few even go let alone want to listen to the people’s story who are there and take the time to earn the right to be heard.

There were a surprising amount of similarities in doing Young Life and living with homeless people. I’ve experienced the same challenges whenever my intent has been to earn the right to be heard.

The first time I walked into a high school to do some contact work I thought…

What if they don’t like me?

What if I’m not funny at club?

What if I’m the one that doesn’t fit in?

What if I can’t find the right kids?

Walking out to the streets of Denver to pursue the homeless left me with similar feelings…

Where do I go?

Who do I talk to?

Where am I going to sleep?

Where am I going to eat?

Whether it be Young Life at a high school, working at a group home or becoming homeless to reach people I wondered the same horrible thought I think we all wonder…

What if I’m terrible at this?

It’s a good fear to have. I think it’s a healthy thing to wonder so you don’t just go into others lives thinking you have yours all together.

This allowed me to go in quietly and to sit in silence and listen. It allowed someone to slowly lend me their story so that way I could go through it with them.

I’ve sat with so many adults and teens this past year. I’ve learned so many stories. I’ve heard terrible things. A girl’s life that has known little more than being raped, abandoned and then sold into human trafficking. A child whose parent killed themselves right after telling the kid it’s all their fault. A schizophrenic who no one has sat down to talk with in years. A man drinking alone in the rain who is so depressed he’s ready to kill himself. Another man who wishes someone saw one good thing about him rather than disregarding him because he’s homeless.

Earning the right to be heard often left me understanding a persons individual suffering better. Understanding pain better made me realize that the words I was planning on saying would fail and be cliche to the point that they would cause pain. I’ve learned that I can’t fix people. I don’t have the answers. I wish I did. I’ve tried to and I’ve failed. I’ve learned to stay quite more than I used to and just let someone know that I’m not going anywhere. I’ve learned to be consistent, continue to eat with people, walk through town with them, talk about baseball with them, go to their games, buy them their favorite magazine, visit them in the cafeteria or sit in sandwich lines with them just to be with them as they struggle so that they might not have to struggle alone. It’s not always the best time. It’s not always easy or profound. But when we join in that silence, in that waiting and sharing of pain and burden and people coming to know they don’t have earn your love… God is there.

Once the right to be heard has been earned it’s interesting how much less I have to say than I would have wanted to in the first place. I don’t need to say it because it’s understood.

I’m so glad I’ve been blessed to be a a part of so many people’s lives.

I’ll never forget it all started with Young Life teaching me what it means to earn the right to be heard.