My young friend is wanted for attempted murder.

I have a young friend who is accused of shooting someone. When I first heard this I was just sad. While I obviously don’t condone shootings or anything like that I immediately thought of all the good times I had with Dejon.

I care because I know Dejon. I’m not going to say he’s a perfect kid or anything. He’s done some things and made some mistakes but so have I. He’s probably done some things I know I wish he didn’t. But I know Dejon grew up with many of life’s cards stacked against him. He’s already been shot twice, he’s grown with people who should have influenced him for good encouraging him towards many of the activities people look down on him for now. Like I said, I don’t condone or excuse anything, I just know a different part of him than what a lot of people see. I know his primary Nik and my co-workers Jesse, Kallie, Steph, Sam, Abby and my boss George know this part of him. And I want you to know it as well.

In the news report explaining Dejon and Tim are wanted for a shooting, people are allowed to comment at the end. People started making harsh, and in my opinion downright immature, comments and others started firing back supporting Dejon and Tim. It’s the easy thing to do, look down on someone and build yourself up by making them look smaller or completely defend someone you see being attacked.

While those comments (and others people made) make me mad and sad I’m not here to fight one side or the other. I don’t see people who mess up as completely innocent or as a waste of a person or a “savage” as one man described these two. I just think people can know others better and not judge them completely by one mistake or a picture seen in passing. Like I said before, I want you to know the good side of this kid which most people never take the time to see.

Dejon and I went to Young Life Camp at Frontier Ranch last year and I got to see him spend a week where he just got to be a kid, away from the worries of the world, and he loved it. We both did. He enjoyed camp right along with the other kids who didn’t have a past like his, hadn’t been to jail, and didn’t have scars from bullets in their chest and leg. He flinched a little whenever the fake gun shots of the western themed camp went off which reminded me of  his past. Camp was something else for all of us and was a place where I’m reminded to see people as they were intended to be seen.

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And I wish you could see Dejon at his best, I hope he remembers those times too, and I hope maybe all the people arguing can just agree on the fact that pointing fingers and degrading each other won’t get us anywhere. Knowing someone enough to blur the line between the “us and them” way we often see life is a better way. A life of empathy changes things while a life of hostility and judging just widens the gap between everyone. Sooner or later I think this will happen and life will make more sense to us all.

Above all Dejon, if you happen to read this, I hope you know, no matter what you did, all that stuff from camp a year ago is true. You are still great and loved and good. I’m sorry more people don’t see the good in you, the way God see’s you every day. I hope you can feel the love. Hopefully I get to see you again soon.

What’s the point of talking?

Over the past year I’ve been a part of a ton of second hand conversations. Whether it be the time I was on the streets, laying down in a park, reading comments on a blog or sitting in a coffee shop I hear small parts of many conversations. Especially in the coffee shop I go to regularly. Given that it’s near a high school, college, seminary and homeless shelter there are a pretty eclectic group of people that gather here. Given the variety of people conversing I think I have heard a debate over pretty much everything. I promise I’m not trying to listen but people talk loud… and it’s interesting (not gonna not listen).

People putting opinion on top of opinion is usually what it’s all about. It’s not a bad thing since these opinions stack up from personal experience. I often wonder what those opinions are exactly. Where have these people come from? Why do they think these ways? What’s the point of talking so much? I don’t always agree or disagree or even care but I still wonder about these people’s lives that have led to this talk. More so I wonder what that looks like in their actual life. Where are their opinions turning into actions? Are their opinions and ideals even turning into actions?

I have to remember though that I am often the one having these conversations. People hear me too. And as much as I wonder about where they are coming from I can only assume they wonder the same things about me. If I’m going to wonder about others others I have to be a my own biggest skeptic. I have to ask…

Where are my opinions and ideals turning into action? Are they?

I have to make sure my life, my potential and my thoughts don’t end when I walk out of the coffee shop. When the conversation ends is when the stuff that really matters begins. At that point it’s not a matter of right living as much as it is a wonder of potential that leads to what we’re all pursuing. It’s the slight difference between setting expectations so you can meet them and pursuing ideals to see what’s possible.

I think we all have this natural curiosity to push our personal limits. Do we really follow that curiosity though? Personally I think it should be more encouraged than it is. It should be a way of life not just a conversation in a coffee shop. It takes hard work and dedication but that’s the stuff that makes a difference. I believe these conversations we have are good. They should happen more. They shouldn’t put our minds at ease though as much as they stir our lives into action that is based on the faith of what we believe in.

From all these second hand conversations I’ve gotten one thing. We all believe in a better way to live. If we didn’t we wouldn’t be talking so much.

We believe in helping others, feeding the hungry, reaching out to the lonely, being a better friend and showing God to the world. We believe that we can push ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually to live a better life. Those are just our beliefs and ideals though. The point of talking in this way should be to discover them. Once discovered though we can’t mistake them for a finish line when in reality they are just starting blocks. Beliefs and ideals just allow us something to push off of and move. They are not permission to stop moving.

Questions: How are you willing to live and show that what you talk about is not just talk? Are you determined to find out that what you believe in actually exists? How do you accomplish this daily?